Friday, October 11, 2002
Endust, A Library Ladder, and the FUNK!

I am staying at my brothers house. Ok, i know i'm 27, kinda lame of me. Anyway, he has this library ladder that goes to where I sleep and stay up entirely too late on the internet. It's a pretty sweet contraption, but everytime I go up or down it I fear my life. Back to this in a second.

For now, let's imagine for a moment that I won an oscar award. Yeah, an oscar. And this oscar was my lifes mission. Since the day I was born, winning an oscar was the only thing on my mind. I think you get the point. Anyway, the thought crossed my mind to do a list. The top ten things that I would do after winning this oscar. I just thought this was a great idea. Think about it. You spend years and years, striving to complete your lifes goal, then.... (silence::birds chirping) Thats right. WHAT NOW??

By the way, this idea came to me while climbing the library ladder. To be exact, it came when my bottom foot slipped off the top stair and scared the shit out of me. I don't know why this idea popped into my head, it just did.

Also, if you're wondering, I would thank my brother for letting me stay in his loft in my acceptance speech.

ok, and now.....


10. Buy Endust or Generic dusting spray for Award.
09. Check the Hollywood Stock Exchange (HSX.COM) to see if my fake stock was blowin' up.
08. I would call my brother and tell him about my new twenty million dollar house.
07. Check my email.
06. Check my voicemail.
05. Take off all my clothes, look in the mirror and do my best Dinero-Taxi Driver impersonation.
04. Think to myself, "Why the fuck did I just do that?"
03. Check my email again.
02. Call my Mother and ask her if she remembers finding a 'stiff' sock under my mattress when i was 17.
01. Ask her if $5000 would make her forget.

-remy Posted @ 1:24 AM